In today’s light speed world we have access to more information, news, and world events, than ever before. And with social media platforms, we’ve maintained “connections” with people all over the world- glimpses into the lives of friends, family, and acquaintances from every corner of the globe.
So why do we so often feel disconnected?
We quickly scroll through the morning updates and feel less connected than ever before. Our closest friends and family zoom all around us, but no one seems to have the time to just be together anymore. The good news is- you’re not alone. The desire for the depth and simplicity of relating openly to others is universal and the fact that you are craving more is a sign that you are growing. Woohoo!
The second piece of good news is that YOU have the power to start having real connections, deep conversations, and openly expressing your true self- today! All it takes is a little focus and a few key skills that anyone can master.
One of the first things we learn as we grow through relationships is that the quality and depth of our relationships with others stems from the quality and depth of our relationship with ourselves.
It’s one of those frustrating, paradigms of life. We get what we give. We see what we are. And while, on one level that can be annoying, on another level, it’s extremely empowering. Because now, instead of trying to change or fix the whole world–you only need to take care of yourself.
1. Self Awareness
You’ve got to get your own vibration lined up with what you want to pave the way. But how do you know what you’re putting out there? And how do you control your thoughts to keep your vibe alive?
First, you don’t “control” anything. You choose. Self awareness is primarily about paying inward attention. Notice your feelings, your reactions, your impulses. That’s enough. Just take a half beat to notice what’s going on within you in your daily life.
Resist the impulse to judge, evaluate, or label. Just notice with a friendly attitude. Notice when your girlfriend pushes your buttons. Notice when you get excited about something and how it feels in your body. Notice what happens when there is a moment of stillness in your day.
The more you can notice your own thoughts and feelings without judgment, the better equipped you will be to choose the vibration you want to be in and ultimately share yourself with others in a meaningful way.
Cultivating an attitude of curiosity is a game changer, it will shift your world.
So often we judge ourselves for our thoughts, our actions, what we said, what we didn’t say, we judge ourselves for being angry, for being tired, for wanting more, the list never ends. And while we’re busy doing that to ourselves, we might as well figure out what’s wrong with everyone else too. We don’t mean to do it- it just happens.
Think about the energy of judgment compared to that of curiosity. It’s a difference you can feel in your body. And believe me, everyone else can feel it too.
Ever have a conversation with someone and you just feel yourself getting tighter and more closed with every exchange? And what about those people who you can just sink into; the ones who listen lovingly and make you a cup of tea while they tell you everything will be alright. That difference is energetic- you are literally responding to the vibrations of the beliefs those folks hold.
So let’s practice a few tricks to flip your script. When you notice yourself taking a strong position or judging someone, ask yourself “How could the opposite also be true?” or “I’m open to feeling differently about this.” Try those phrases today or create one of your own!
3. Radical Responsibility
One of the hallmarks of deep relationships is that each person takes ownership of their feelings.
You know, on some level already, that no one can make you feel this way or that way. Imagine the rollercoaster you’d be on if you allowed every person, place, or thing in this world to affect your peace of mind. You’d be bonkers!
And at that point, your vibration would be so erratic, the Law of Attraction would be responding to you with nothing but chaos. We are creators here, inviting solid, balanced, relationships with the energy that matches.
When you listen with genuine interest and care to your loved ones, tune into yourself to notice your reactions, and tend to your feelings without blaming or correcting or demanding anything of anyone, you create space for real relating. You build trust. And nothing is more foundational to connection than trust.
As you practice the skills of self awareness, curiosity, and radical responsibility, you are setting the foundation to the most transformative relationship experience of all: Vibrational Alignment with your true self.
Tuning your vibration to the frequency of who you really are is the easiest way to level up your relationships (and your life). But how? What is alignment and how do I get there?
Specifically on the energetic level, alignment is a matching up of vibrational frequencies.
How we humans experience alignment is often called Flow–that feeling of being in the "zone" or when you’re having such a good time that you look up and notice hours have flown by, but it felt like minutes. It’s the sense that everything is working out for you.
It's feeling relaxed about your relationships.
The path to alignment is different for every person but generally- it’s about following your feel good. From exactly where you are, you have the ability to consciously shift into alignment, and when you do, you receive a new sense of depth within your relationships.
Developing your skills of self awareness, curiosity, radical responsibility and ultimately alignment, will transform your relationships. Most of all, they will transform you.
Happy practicing friends!
If you’re looking to manifest more depth in your relationship, but not sure what the next step on your path is– You Can take my new Alignment Quiz here!