I feel like breakdowns generally get a bad rep…
In reality, they are so opening and powerful. Never-mind essential for our conscious expansion.
Isn’t it funny that we accept our muscles feel sore after a good workout (breaking down of muscle fibre), in fact we mostly celebrate the experience of soreness (common how many have woken up and felt proud of their sore muscles?)…but when it comes to an emotional breakdown, we judge it as something going wrong.
We have some old weird paradigms, so let’s re-write this one right now:
Emotional breakdowns are important and valuable for our growth, and meant to be celebrated.
My last breakdown was a doozy (which I share from a place of pure alignment now), and what I learned in a new way is:
The clarity comes AFTER you feel the feelings.
Here’s the story…
For the past couple years, we’ve been on the path of baby making. The path including awareness of the desire, setting intentions, creating alignments, taking actions, releasing resistances, building momentums, surrendering.
Two weeks ago, there was a technical detail with the clinic we were working with that resulted in my beautifully manicured mental plan of being pregnant by Christmas going out the window.
It was the smallest thing and it triggered a big ole emotion inside me. And only because I have practice in knowing the value of feeling emotions, I was able to step back, give space, and feel.
[Sidenote] There is a huge myth in a lot of LOA work that we should move away from any negative emotions, which is in most cases, the opposite of what we should do. Emotions are energy, and they carry a frequency, if you are feeling a negative emotion and ignore it (resist it), you trap it in your physical body and it just stays there polluting your vibe.
And as much as I intellectually know breakdowns are valuable and good, it didn’t take away the experience of uncomfort while it was happening. The moments I spent letting go, giving in and feeling the feelings were just plain ugh!
But after a good bought of really loud sobs, I was able to take myself outside for some fresh air, decided to get in the hot tub and as I was sinking into the hot water, the thought that literally came to me was “not getting pregnant means you’re not good enough (as a human).”
Whoa what?! Now of course I immediately intellectually knew this wasn’t true, but the surprise came in realizing this specific resistance was in me. I was never relating my pregnancy path to my goodness and value and it was such a liberating clarity.
A clarity that wasn’t available to me, until I had let myself feel the feelings!
So…
The next time you feel those big emotions coming up, give yourself space, be present with all the feels and watch the magic unfold right in front of you.
Wishing you wonderful opening breakdowns 💙
